1. 9 Aug



    Wow, those cookies went fast.
    — overheard in my office i have no idea why
     

  2. 9 Aug



    someone brought a bunch of cookies into work and they are literally just across the way from my cubicle and i cannot stop getting up to take a cookie every time i do 3 minutes of “hard work” hi my name is ellie and i have a problem

     

  3. 26 Jul


    Last week I posted this tweet: “Everyone’s getting lunch with their cubicle buddies but my cubicle buddy is on a weird diet and only eats paper and it’s the office printer.” I thought you guys needed to know this was real. TOO REAL? (No) And also that the printer gets an ID photo but I don’t. But while we’re being real here, I’m just a temp and that printer is here to stay. He has printer babies to feed.

    Last week I posted this tweet: “Everyone’s getting lunch with their cubicle buddies but my cubicle buddy is on a weird diet and only eats paper and it’s the office printer.” I thought you guys needed to know this was real. TOO REAL? (No)

    And also that the printer gets an ID photo but I don’t.

    But while we’re being real here, I’m just a temp and that printer is here to stay. He has printer babies to feed.

     

  4. 25 Jul



    Tampons are Really Expensive

    Me: My laptop’s getting fixed because the hard drive crashed.

    Co-Worker/Friend: Oh that’s the worst. Do you have to pay for it?

    Me: No, I bought it like 3 months ago. It’s in my warranty.

    Co-Worker/Friend: My apartment got broken into a couple years ago and they stole everything. Laptop theft wasn’t covered in mine so I had to get a new one.

    Me: They stole everything!?

    Co-Worker/Friend: Well, not everything, but all the expensive stuff.

    Me: Did they steal all your tampons?

    Co-Worker/Friend: No, Ellie… No.

     

  5. 9 Jun



    Dress for the Job You Want

    1. I worked this a hotel networking type event to make some extra cash and this happened:
    2. Fancy Hotelier: Hey there, I don't think we've met! Alexander and I'm with the Grisham Group.
    3. Me: Oh, I'm Ellie and I'm with... no one. I mean. I don't really matter.
    4. Fancy Hotelier: Okay..
    5. Me: I'm just.. kinda helping.
    6. Fancy Hotelier: Right.
     

  6. 8 Jun


    Great news everyone! I recently received word that I will be interning at HelloGiggles!! I don’t start until the fall when I’m back in L.A., but I’m still really excited about this. If you don’t know, it’s an amazing website created by amazing ladies for amazing ladies. They have traits other than “amazing” but just roll with me. Here’s a great Forbes piece on the site: click for blog post/article. Anyway, today I decided to celebrate by painting my nails (Molls, one of the co-founders, is a nail art aficionado) but then I remembered about that thing where I am disgustingly bad at nail painting. So if you can’t tell, my nails are sporting the adorable HelloGiggles cartoon renditions of co-founders Molls, Zooey Deschanel, and Sophia Rossi. Brought to you in partnership with my pal in hack photo editing, MSpaint. I probably won’t have much to say about this until September when I actually start to do things, but hey, bragbragbraglovemeokthanks.

    Great news everyone! I recently received word that I will be interning at HelloGiggles!! I don’t start until the fall when I’m back in L.A., but I’m still really excited about this. If you don’t know, it’s an amazing website created by amazing ladies for amazing ladies. They have traits other than “amazing” but just roll with me. Here’s a great Forbes piece on the site: click for blog post/article.

    Anyway, today I decided to celebrate by painting my nails (Molls, one of the co-founders, is a nail art aficionado) but then I remembered about that thing where I am disgustingly bad at nail painting.

    So if you can’t tell, my nails are sporting the adorable HelloGiggles cartoon renditions of co-founders Molls, Zooey Deschanel, and Sophia Rossi. Brought to you in partnership with my pal in hack photo editing, MSpaint.

    I probably won’t have much to say about this until September when I actually start to do things, but hey, bragbragbraglovemeokthanks.

     

  7. 3 Jun



    And it will be an autumn wedding!

    1. I recently got back home for the summer from my women's college and this really happened on my first day back at the restaurant I worked at in high school:
    2. Waitress: Ellie!!!!! Welcome back! (hug)
    3. Me: Hey! It's great to see you, how've you been?
    4. Waitress: (she holds me at a distance and looks me in the eyes)
    5. Me: Whaa..aat?
    6. Waitress: Did ya get yourself a boyfriend?
    7. Me: Hah, no I didn't.
    8. Waitress: (releases me) Are you a lesbian now?
    9. Me: What.
    10. Waitress: It's okay if you are, I know that's why a lot of girls go to those type of schools, you can tell me.
    11. Me: I.. am not a lesbian.
    12. Waitress: Ok. ok. Then I'm gunna set you up with my cousin Tommy. He's real cute. You're real cute. Boom.
    13. Me: That's really not -
    14. Waitress: Shut up. It's already done. Clear table 33.