I went to school, kindergarten through high school graduation, with two other people who share my birthday. Kristen and Sean. None of us are really friends with each other, we’re all pretty different, but I like them both just fine.
In 3rd grade, we happened to be in the same class and on our birthdays my mom brought in a cake. I was a selfish asshole of a 9-year-old and I had a tantrum about sharing my birthday/cake/attention with them and cried and then Kristen cried and then Sean cried. I have always felt bad about that.
As we all grew older at the exact same pace, there was never any more “shared birthday” issues. I’d see one of them in the hall on that day and wish them a happy birthday, and vice versa, or it’d just be a facebook wallpost. Nothing excessive, but always an acknowledgment.
This year on our birthdays, I did nothing. To be fair, I rarely wish people a facebook happy birthday anymore, and like I said, we’re not really friends with one another at all. Still, memories of that ruined 3rd grade birthday party immediately surfaced and I decided to do something special.
My version of “something special” is crafting a very shitty MS paint photo of the Three-Headed-Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, except with our faces pasted onto theirs, and Sir Robin handing us a large birthday cake.
And as I was finishing up this something special, a light burst forth from the heavens, and a booming voice declared, “Not so fast, McElvain.” The first birthday cake picture I clicked on in google image search instantly gave me a nasty software virus, and after spending two hours at the Best Buy geeksquad counter, I discovered the tech support for that is not covered in my warranty.
And so, the universe, in it’s infinite and cyclical mystery, has balanced itself. Do something nice today.
