I love this dude.
Allow me to explain. As a newly minted “gym person” I see a lot of annoyingly fit people around this establishment: perky stay-at-home moms fantasizing a lesbian chocolate wrestling match with ina garten on the treadmills, buff guys who I vaguely recognize as formerly playing on my high school’s football team at the bench press, and small groups of sexually frustrated and squeaky 12 year old boys tripping over their shoe laces on the basketball courts.
And then there’s this guy. I don’t know his name, but he calls me “Miss” and has a toothy smile and wears would-be-retro-if-he-didn’t-buy-them-the-year-they-were-made glasses and almost exclusively uses the stairmaster. Finally, if you can’t read it, his shirt says “If I’m not sweating, call 911” and guess what you guys? He brings TWO of this same shirt to the gym every time he goes because he’s such a goddamn efficient dude. Which automatically leads me to imagine his cartoon network closet full of the same outfit neatly displayed on hangers and I love that.
Or he legitimately has some perspiration disorder and will actually die if he ceases to sweat. I should maybe keep an eye out for that.