1. let’s be honest
bobby: wassup? lol did we meet at sara’s party last weekend?
marissa: no, i wasn’t there. you friend requested me randomly. we just go to the same college.
bobby: haha woops! it must’ve been a girl who looks like u
marissa: it’s cool
bobby: so anyway we should rage sometime, u seem pretty cool haha
marissa: yeah, probably not
bobby: haha ouchhh ur funny. well here’s my cell hit me up sometime and we’ll chill
marissa: i am never going to call you so you should probably find another random girl on facebook who wants to be your fuckbuddy! you smell like roofies and sweat and two bouts of gonorrhea! bye!
bobby: lol cool i’ll cya l8r
2. bored, u?
tim: hey, sup bro?
craig: nm, watching some time-lapse monarch butterfly metamorphosis youtube videos, trying to see a metaphorical connection to my life, but finding none. u?
tim: lol what
craig: lol nvm, g2g, but i’ll see u at lax practice later
3. great party
tiffany: heeeeeeeey girl, i think i left my jacket at your house last night!
claire: yeah. i think you did.
tiffany: lol thanks, sorry, i was sooooo drunk!!
claire: um, you can come pick it up whenever. but uhhh… do remember last night?
tiffany: hahaha barely! omgg what’d i do?? i’m sucha hot mess!
claire: tiff. ok. why is your jacket soaked in blood?
tiffany: fuck. that answers some questions. i’ll be there in 5 minutes with bleach. tell no one.